LIKE A KID ON A SCHOOL BUS FOR THE FIRST TIME
I WANDERED INTO THIS LOVELY CITY CALLED PARIS
NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME
BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME KNOWING THAT I DID NOT WANT TO LIVE IN L.A. ANYMORE
So no drinking in Morocco. As we leave the airport, the beers are fired up no more than ten meters away from the exit. The vans are inspected for future damage, full insurance has been taken. As per usual, the radios are also inspected. Audio cords are produced and the lads turn into the Mad Max warriors, ready to head towards Valhalla. Chrome cans in hand, they clash and enjoy being emptied and discarded like the trash they are. Whilst most tourists start to be aware that they are in another country by the unusual landscape and decrepit and unfinished buildings piled up on each other and another one looking like a child’s unfinished Lego toy spray-painted with dust, our group of animal’s first taste of being in a new country is when we blow off that dust and experience that first opening of the golden ale, knowing that unfamiliar oil will be the motivation in hand: to set out for the greatest or the last mining expedition in Morrocorona, smashing every spot, destroying every piece of public or abandoned property, to deserve to get our hands – illegally or not – on the luscious canned gold fever, cold or warm.
FUCK TOM CRUISE / THAT FOOL BEING STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY AND PLAY THE LAST SAMURAI / FIRST OF AIN’T NO WHITE PERSON A SAMURAI / SECOND ALL IF WE DID HAVE A LAST SAMURAI, IT WOULD BE MARTINO / THE MOTHERFUCKER WILL SNEAK OUT OF THE SHADOWS, CREEP INTO SPOTS / THAT NO NORMAL UNTRAINED HUMAN WOULD EVEN THINK POSSIBLE / HE’S LIKE A SAMURAI NINJA SPIDER-MAN / LOOK AT HIM IN THESE PHOTOS / BOUNCING FROM WALLS TO WALLS / SLICING GRAVITY IN TWO PIECES / THIS KID USES WEED TO REALLY GET HIGH / UNMISTAKEDLY UNMISTAKEABLE, HE IS A HEXAGON RUBIK’S / THE APPROACH AND IMAGINATION OF THIS KID / IS JUST PLAIN GENIUS / HE IS JUST AS LOVELY IN REAL LIFE, AN ABSOLUTE PLEASURE OF A FELLA / TRY TO KEEP YOUR EYE CLOSE ON THIS MARTA OF MARTINO
Just randomly threw out in the Baker group chat, “Who’s your favorite Euro skater?” These four people responded as Baker text questions only get returned by all on rare occasions. To no surprise, it was a full Flip skateboards response. I’m guessing because around the time Baker was starting – ‘97-‘99 era, Warner Ave era, Piss Drunx era –, we were pretty much thick as thieves with the Flip squad. Living in one house was Erik Ellington, Elissa Steamer, Mike Maldonado, and Shane Heyl. The other apartment was Ali Boulala and Alex Moul and another Jim Greco, and Orin. Across the street was Andrew Reynolds, Brian Sumner, Jeff Lenoce and Beagle next door to the fire squad. Anyhow, they sent back these favorites in which we wanted to track down some different rare angles for your delight. Just a nice shot back to the past to remember how fucking dope Flip skateboards was back in the good ol’ days. However, I believe if they had more time to think, they would all collectively be naming some more modern amazing Euros. Let’s see, maybe next issue.
ALEXEY AKA THE WOLF / EVERY SUPERHERO OR BOSS HAS A NUMBER ONE / ALEXEY IS EXACTLY THAT PERSON YOU WANT BY YOUR SIDE WHEN STUFF GOES PEAR-SHAPED / HIS QUIET AND SOPHISTICATED DEMEANOR MAKES HIM THE PERFECT SIDE-LINE FIRST-IN-COMMAND / IN EVERY HIJINX SITUATION, I’VE ALWAYS SEEN ALEXEY OBSERVING CLOSELY FROM THE SIDE LINE / IT’S NOT LIKE HE’S SOME SORT OF COWARD / IT’S JUST I FEEL THAT THE WAY HE SEES STUFF IS DIFFERENT THAN THE REST OF US / MAYBE HE IS SMARTER, MAYBE HE JUST DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHY A BUNCH OF DRUNKS FIND EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT / FOR ALEXEY, I FEEL EVERYTHING IS PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD, LIKE A ROLLING STONES SONG / COMPARED TO A CAPTAIN BEEFHEART SONG / ALEXY IS ONE OF THOSE GREAT SKATERS THAT DOESN’T WASTE PEOPLE’S TIME BY PLAYING WITH SPOTS / HE KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS AND HAS THE PATIENCE TO WAIT HIS TURN AND SPECIFY THAT HE WANTS TO BAKE HIMSELF SOME BREAD / THE FANTASTIC MISTER FOX WITHOUT THE EGO / THE RUSSIAN NUMBER ONE / THE WOLF, ALSO A CHARACTER IN PULP FICTION PLAYED BY HARVEY KEITEL / THIS IS WHAT I FEEL COULD BE CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH MISTER ALEXEY / THEREFORE, THE WOLF IT IS
These two fellas I really don’t feel comfortable writing an intro for. It’s not that I’m too lazy, it’s just the fact that words cannot describe either of their personalities. I’d much rather you go up and introduce yourself to them. Falsified introductions can only let you down as you never know what kinda day your fellow human is having. Therefore, if I put my word forward saying either of the guys is the best easy going person I would be right, however we all have our breaking points and either or both of these beautiful spaghetti headed humans could very much destroy your not pitiful little ungroomed brain into smitherines. Buy them beers and wipe their tears, kiss their lips and pinch their tits. Wet puppies still smell.
WELL, WELL. WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THIS TALENTED YOUNG DADDY? I GOTTA EXPLAIN A LITTLE OF HOW THIS GUY’S BRAIN WORKS. CHIMA IS NOT REALLY SOMEONE WHO NEEDS TO TRAIN TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT HE DOES. I DON’T THINK CHIMA REALLY LIKES TO GO TRAIN IN THE U.S AT ALL. I ACTUALLY CAN’T RECALL, OVER THE FOUR OR SO YEARS WE LIVED TOGETHER, MANY TIMES WE WENT TO JUST CRUISE IN A PARK. I’M SURE THERE WERE A COUPLE TIMES BUT NOT OFTEN. CHIMA ONLY REALLY LIKES TO SESSION WATERLOO SKATEPARK IN SYDNEY. AS SOON AS HE SET FOOT IN THE STATES, IT WAS LIKE HE HAD SOMEHOW STRATEGICALLY, LIKE A MASTER OF CHESS, PLANNED EVERYTHING IN HIS HEAD HE WANTED TO ACHIEVE: FROM THE LIST OF TRICKS HE PUT TOGETHER FOR AN ASTOUNDING BREAK-OUT PRO PART TO PROPELLER TO THE BEGIN OF THE LAUNCH OF HIS BEST-SELLING SHOE – ALTHOUGH, HE DEFINITELY HAD TO WITNESS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE PARTY TIMES IN BOTH OUR APPARTMENTS.