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Tristan Funkhouser – tumblr time

Most played song at the moment?

„Milkmen Stomp“ by The Dead Milkmen. You should give it a listen. [Tiago’s board crashes into Tristan] can’t handle the board man. [laughs]

Is there something you’re currently worrying about?

No. Not really.

Would you rather have to push mongo or do rocket flips for the rest of your life?

Rocket kickflips!

Yeah?

Fuck yeah! I love a good rocket flip. Fuck mongo!

If you were invisible for one day. What would you do?

I’d tag on every wall I could. I don’t really consider myself a fucking tagger or something. I don’t really do too much but I just have fun with spray paint… tons of spray paint.

What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

A lot of people are nice man. Off the top of my head I can’t really remember. Yeah, a lot of beers this trip.

If you could meet anyone. Living or dead. Who would it be?

Shit man. I don’t know. That’s a though one. There is a lot of people I would like to meet and shit. It would be sick to meet David Bowie.

If you could be any fictional character. Who would it be?

You ever seen „Lilo & Stitch“? I would probably be Stitch. [laughing] Or I would be Donny, the crazy kid from „Whe Wild Thornberrys“. You know that TV Show? Or I would be down to be like Pikachu or some shit.

"I was eight years old, jumping off of fucking 30 foot drops into airbags and shit like that."

If you had to change your first name. What would you change it to?

I like my first name but if I had to change it to anything…

Maybe to Rambo…

[laughing] Yeah something fucked up. Probably be Herbert. I don’t know.

The world needs more Herberts.

Yeah, there is not too many Herberts.

One celebrity you would marry?

Fuck man. Chantel Jeffreys for sure man. She is hot as hell.

Who is she? A fitness model or something?

She just does the IG model and DJ shit. I don’t really know too much about her but she looks fine.

I’m sure she is a good person, too. Name one weird or hidden talent you have.

I don’t know I kinda suck at everything. [laughs] Oh you know I used to do fucking do stunt work when I was a little kid. I only did one commercial but I was eight years old, jumping off of fucking 30 foot drops into airbags and shit like that. I used to do that because my parents were both into that business. They were booked for stunt work and shit. Mostly my mom but yeah they tried to get me into it but I was like „fuck that… I’m tryna skate“.

If you could instantly learn any skate trick you want. Which trick you wanna can?

Probably be able to do a loop or like fucking hit the mega ramp or some shit. It could be any trick as long as I can get it over that I would be fucking hyped.

Most played song at the moment?

„Milkmen Stomp“ by The Dead Milkmen. You should give it a listen. (Skater crashes into the interview) can’t handle the board man. (laughs) clip that in the interview… fuck.

Yeah… attack at the Bänke. I’ll defiantly listen to the milkmen song. What is it is it hip-hop or?

No no. It’s punk-rock.

Ok I’ll check it out later. Is there something you’re currently worrying about?

No. Not really.

Cool.

Cool.

Would you rather have to push mongo for the rest of your life or do rocket flips for the rest of your life?

Rockwet kickflips!!!

Yeah?

Fuck yeah!!! I love a good rocket flip.

And pushing you’re not too much into?

Fuck mongo!!!

If you were invisible for one day. What would you do?

I tag on every wall I could.

What would you tag?

I don’t know. I tag all sorts of shit.

But you’re not into graffiti or something? Just tagging?

Yeah I mean I don’t really consider myself a fucking tagger or something. I don’t really do too much but I just have fun with spray paint … tons of spray paint.

Yeah you can do a lot of fun stuff with it. What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

A lot of people are nice man. Off the top of my head I can’t really remember. Yeah… a lot of beers this trip.

(laughing)

That is like a good trip. I know what you mean. Is there one thing you want to change about yourself?

Naahh…

You’re pretty happy?

I’m happy man!

Nice that’s good. If you could meet anyone. Living or dead. Who would it be?

Shit man. I don’t know. That’s a though one.

I might go for Kurt Cobain but…

Yeah that would be sick… Kurt Cobain. (thinking) There is a lot of people I would like to meet and shit.

Somebody right now that would make you totally star struck. Who would it be? Is there anybody you’re like „huwwhahaha“?

I don’t know it would be sick to meet David Bowie. Fuck.

Oh yeah. Bowie is a good one.

That would be cool. I don’t know. There is a lot of people man and they’re passing away so it’s like kinda hard to think now.

A lot of people lived already. It would also be interesting to meet people like Dschingis Khan or something like that.

Oh yeah for sure man. It is to me fucking Einstein or somebody like that. Dude fuck… crazy.

If you could be any fictional character. Who would it be?

You ever seen „Lilo & Stitch“? I would probably be Stitch.

(laughing)

…or you know. Who is the crazy kid from „Whe Wild Thornberrys“? You know that TV Show?

Nah…

Donny! Yeah I would be Donny from the „The Wild Thornberrys“ or… well actually I was about to say something that was actually a person in a book.

Oh that’s totally fine it’s a fictional character. That one is funny for you…

Well I would be down to be like Pikachu or some shit.

Pikachu yeah…

Yeah… I don’t know. Those are pretty good. Those are good ones.

So this question is funny for you because your first name ist not that common and the question is: If you had to change your first name. What would you change it to? But I guess you’re pretty happy with it or aren’t you?

No no. I like my first name but if I had to change it to anything…

Maybe to Rambo or something…

(laughing)

Yeah something fucked up. Probably be Herbert. I don’t know…

The world needs more Herberts.

Yeah there is not too many Herberts.

Maybe you can make fun with a Herb. One celebrity you would marry?

Shit. Can it be like an IG modle?

Yeah for sure.

Fuck man. Chantal Jeffreys for sure man. She is hot as hell.

Ok I’ll google her as well.

Yeah!!!

(laughing)

So she is a fitness modle or what is she into?

She just does he IG modle shit and DJs and shit. I don’t know. I don’t really know too much about but she looks fine.

I’m pretty sure she is a good person. Name one wired or hidden talent you have.

I don’t know I kinda suck at everything.

Ok.

(laughs) I’m just kidding.

Just skateboarding?

Hmm I’m tryna think. Oh you know I used to do fucking do stunt work when I was a little kid.

For movies or what?

Not really. I only did like one commercial but I was like eight years old, jumping off of fucking 30 foot drops into airbags and shit. You feel me? Shit like that.

Nice. That’s fun I guess.

Yeah but nobody would ever fucking guess that I used to do that because my parents were both into that business. They were booked for stunt work and shit. Mostly my mom but yeah they tried to get me into it but I was like „fuck that… I’m tryna skate“.

Something completely different to skateboarding… I mean it’s kinda the same: Stunts on a board or stunts without a board.

Yeah.

What story does your family always tell about you? Is there one thing?

I don’t know. Maybe you should interview my parents. (laughs)

I mean they sound interesting but… no we can skip that as well. If you could instantly learn any skate trick you want. Which trick you wanna can?

Probably be able to do a loop.

Ok yeah.

Or like fucking hit the mega ramp or some shit. It could be any trick as long as I can get it over that I would be fucking hyped.

Yeah I can feel that. If you were reincarnated as an animal what would you want to be?

Killer whale.

That’s a good one. What would you want to be as a child? Not a stuntman I guess…

Kinda just wanted to be a skater. As soon as I started skating that was it. I kinda was into baseball and shit when I was hella little but I got over that too. Skating just stuck.

Who is the most famous person you have the number on your phone?

Fucking Andrew Reynolds. Probably Andrew Reynolds for sure.

You have been on tour with Max Pack in Italy?

Yeah yeah.

He is a friend of mine and he was like „At one point Andrew called me and I didn’t know him and was like „Who is there? Andrew! What Andrew? Andrew Reynolds.“ And he was like „Oh my God.“

Yeah Max is sick.

What was the weirdest present you ever got?

Probably like soggy money from a kid at a signing. Like really soggy money.

Why he gave you money?

I don’t know?

Like a soggy dollar or what?

Like a wet fucking… not a euro but like a peso. I think we were in Mexico. Just like a really wet five dollars.

Did he tell you why it was wet?

I don’t know. He fucking skated.

How often do you clean your ears.

(laughs) I don’t know like every couple of days. Not like o.d. but every couple of days.

People are different. They respond different to that kind of question.

That’s a fucking weird question but…

Yeah I told you… How long could you live without the internet?

Dude I’ll fucking throw my phone right I’ll brake my phone right now. I don’t care.

Ok.

But I can’t.

You don’t want to live with the internet but you have to kind of?

Yeah. It sucks. The damn days we live in.

Yeah we’re trappen.

Yeah exactly… trapped.

I guess you have to constantly post some stuff while you’re on tour.

Not even social media man. Well yeah social media but just like how fucking everything is on your phone. Like all your information. Back in the day it wasn’t like that. Now you have all your bank information shit like that own your phone. If you loose your phone it’s fucking scary.

Yeah you better have it backed up and stuff like that.

Yeah.

Some one you trust with everything?

Wes Kremer.

Ok he looks like a trust worthy person.

(laughs)

What was the best day in your life?

Fuck… It’s been a couple of good ones.

I believe it tho.

This one time we were in Costa Rica and we fucking hiked through this jungle for four hours and then we ended up on this fucking perfect fucking beach with black sand and then we ended upon going on a boat ride to get back to were we were fucking going. And we were in these pretty much plastic fishing boats going against all these fucking huge ass waves. It was crazy but so sick. Yeah man.

Costa Rica is cool.

It’s just beautiful you know. There is this fucking big ass fucking rock in the water. It had like a fucking cave in it. You could fucking go through it.So fucking sick.

So with the boats you went to the rock?

No we didn’t do that. We just went by it. I guess it's like super sketchy.

Oh yeah yeah ok.

Just fucking amazing tho.

Nice one. A song that reminds you of the past?

I don’t know. Can I skip that shit? Can I skip that one?

Oh yeah yeah yeah. A school subject you were good in?

Science.

Yeah?

Yeah i was pretty good with that. I was never really good at math or any of that shit. I was pretty good with like science, history and stuff but everything else was kinda fucking (fart sound).

Who is the funniest person you know?

Shout out (15:43 der Name vom Homie back home… kp was der da sagt). He is the homie from back home. A lot of the kids have probably seen hin in my Instagram story. (15.56) yeah. (laughs)

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of last summer?

Last summer? Fucking (16:08).

What (16:09)?

Yeah I had this fucked up shit on my foot. Like all summer that was keeping me from skating. It was horrible.

Not the best summer?

Not the best summer!

Hopefully this one gets better. Where have you been last Christmas?

I think I was at home. I didn’t go anywhere. I don’t know.

What’s your favorite sweets?

Probably ice cream. Yeah defiantly ice cream.

Any particular flavor or brand?

Oh that fucking… That „Chunky Monkey-Ben & Jerry’s“ is just really good. I like a lot of gelato and shit too. Strawberry gelato and shit. Like the lemon ones. The Italian ice. Stuff like that.

What’s your favorite book?

(Someone does a huge trick)

Wooow (applauds). The Outsiders.

Who wrote it?

I can’t remember. I read it in school. I don’t really read a lot. (laughs)

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Hopefully still skating man. I don’t know.

Just skating? Living the life. Still on tour?

Hopefully I live in a house with a pool in ten years. Hopefully I get a pool.

A pool would be nice.

It’s hot as fuck in LA.

So in then years you see yourself in a pool?

In a pool. Yeah.

That’s never wrong I guess.

"Dude I’ll brake my phone right now. I don’t care."

What was the best day in your life?

This one time we were in Costa Rica and we fucking hiked through this jungle for four hours and then we ended up on this fucking perfect fucking beach with black sand and then we ended upon going on a boat ride to get back. And we were in these pretty much plastic fishing boats going against all these fucking huge ass waves. It was crazy but so sick. Yeah man.

A school subject you were good in?

Science. I was never really good at math or any of that shit but I was pretty good with science and history.

Who is the funniest person you know?

Shout out to Matt V. He is the homie from back home. A lot of the kids have probably seen him in my Instagram story. [laugh]

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of last summer?

I had this fucked up shit on my foot. Like all summer that was keeping me from skating. It was horrible.

Where have you been last Christmas?

I think I was at home.

What’s your favorite sweets?

Definetly ice cream. That „Chunky Monkey - Ben & Jerry’s“ is really good.

What’s your favorite book?

"The Outsiders". I read it in school. I don’t really read a lot. [laughs]

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Hopefully still skating man. I don’t know. Hopefully I live in a house with a pool in ten years.

A pool would be nice.

It’s hot as fuck in LA.