Skateboarding started as a youth culture, and although over the years the demography has shifted a bit towards slappy sessions, participants are still more likely to have to deal with pimples than with wrinkles. Combine that with the fact that parents, on average, nowadays are in their 30s when they have their first child, it’s no wonder you see more young adults sucking on a bottle of beer in skateparks than babies getting their bottles there. But of course, there are exceptions to the rule, and you can find sponsored skaters that are already fathers – me included. I became a father at a young age and wanted to hear about the experiences that friends and teammates have had when they also got a child. That’s why I asked Roman Gonzales and Nick Boserio.
I am more responsible, but I was pretty fucking irresponsible before. [laughing]
I just want to do a better job. I never have been driven much by success, but now, after having the girls, I for sure want to be more efficient and successful with producing interesting skating for those reasons. Those values seemed pretty wack when it was just for me and not for others. Those feelings started with my wife also, wanting to make her proud. I’m not drinking right now so that’s part of that, too.
My skating still, with everything, cannot be relied on to be better or worse. [laughing] It’s still so unpredictable. I wish my daughters made me better at skating and enjoying skating.
I want them to do things that I can be passionately involved in so I can share in their lives in that more connected way. If it’s skating that’s cool. Skating is a beautiful thing, but I will learn violin or rock climbing if that’s what they get into, I don’t care.
I cram skating, fitness, looking for spots, connecting with friends, and watching skate videos, everything I can I squeeze into 9-5, as much as possible. It has a lot of pros and cons.
I had serious knee injuries at weird times very close to both of the girls being very young, so I don’t even know
I’m still learning a lot from them, I’m not sure yet…
Any parent who hasn’t caught themselves doing that is in denial. Our personalities and parenting is so unconsciously and powerfully affected by our own parents and childhood. And every parent is fighting to not do those same things we hated as a child. It’s very humbling
I got lucky. I was afraid I would be too harsh with a son, because it would feel even closer to the last question, like, impossible to escape those similarities. I had two daughters, so I never had to find out if I could face that fear I guess.
It’s harder!
I’m still so childish and love to have fun, I think by the time a lot of people have children, that part of them is long gone.
Yes, definitely, on a lot of aspects. Still quite childish, tho. [laughing]
For some time I was thinking of brain damage from a random slam or even just injuring an arm when there’s a lot to do at home can get to your mind. Yes, not gonna lie. I thought/hoped that having my baby home would make me less scared of getting hurt, in the way that if I get injured and can’t skate, I would just get to spend more time with my baby. But it’s not that easy. Still not jumping on those big rails for now, hopefully tomorrow. Regarding the partying, even tho my routine is way more calm, I still offer myself some fun once in a while. It’s more that I gotta think of the consequences of it, like I will not go party if I’m taking care of Telma the next day. It’s definitely not like it used to be, but I get to appreciate it a lot more honestly. I’m also getting older… I think it’s important for the health of the couple/family to still have some fun once in a while, of course. It can sound egoistic but I really believe in that. Having a kid is hard work obviously, and I’m more than ready to give everything for her, but sacrifice and frustration ain’t gonna be healthy on a long ride. Babies feel everything, you can’t lie to them, and you shouldn’t lie to your relationship, or yourself either, I think..
I’m not sure if it got better, but it tasted better, yes. Especially at the beginning with Telma where it would be just a little time to skate here and there. Sounds cheesy, but I was so full of joy, I felt like a little kid. The accomplishment of having a child made me realize how grateful I was to skating, and especially how strongly it helped me during hard times, and to get over them.
It’s up to her. I’m not gonna lie, her skateboard is not far from her in the house. She asks to ride it every now and then. Obviously I think skateboarding is really interesting and helpful, but I don’t wanna force it. There are so many things we get disgusted with as a kid just from the way parents expose it or push it.
I feel super lucky about it, even if it makes it hard sometimes to go away after being such in fusion. I can really spend time with her when I’m home, building and keeping up a strong relationship. The cons come mostly when I get to travel far away, missing her a lot and considering that it would take me some time to get to her if needed. But if I do so, it’s that I trust that it’s all gonna be fine, especially with the help of good communication with my girlfriend.
[laughing] That is pretty true for me. It was the most beautiful thing in the world, even if it was a little hard sometimes. Learning every single day, making first decisions etc. with the most precious thing in the world can also be tiring, mentally for sure. Skating was such a good tool to clear your mind, as we all know. I could only do that due to my amazing girlfriend that managed so we could split some hours during days of the week.
That I have the whole world to learn.
I guess my daughter is still quite young for that, in terms of being able to compare with my memories I mean. But on a larger level yes, definitely. I get surprised on some stuff I can say. [laughing]
During pregnancy I was really scared and worried for her health. Not even about the future, teenage years or so, but mostly about the early beginning. But somehow, even though you do stuff for the first time, there’s something really hard to explain that gives you trust. It’s quite unconscious. She’s somehow telling you that you’re doing it right. I’m still aware as much as I can of course but yeah, that feeling is really special.
That’s such a hard one. I would lie if I say that I had a clue on how it would really be, which is part of the beauty of it.
Knowing that there’s not only one way to do things maybe?
