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Filip Almqvist – Me, the cat, and those other guys

When the Greek tragedy was established 2500 years ago, it was characterized by several features. One of them: masks. Using those, actors were able to slip into different roles and embody archetypical figures instead of bringing their own personality into the role. However, sometimes using different masks is actually making your own personality all the more apparent. That’s, for example, the case with Malmö local and newest addition to Polar, Filip Almqvist. He really likes to slip into different roles and characters and has now used those countless alter egos to invite himself for a chat for this article. One person – multiple angles, a self-reflection of a different kind. Jesus Christ has the floor.

Jesus Christ: I died for your sins! Can you please describe why?

Filip: Ehhhhh…

Jesus Christ: Oh Lord, seems like theology isn’t your strong suit. Can you at least describe yourself a bit? What makes you special?

Filip: I’m a very happy and at the same time sad person. I go from 100 to zero real quick. I say yes to things I wish I’d said no to [maybe like the idea to do this interview with his multiple personalities, editor’s note] and no to things I wish I’d said yes to. I’m very impulsive.

Dr. Phil: How come? Have you tried figuring out why?

Filip: I think I have a bit of ADHD. I burst into a supernova within one second and turn into a black hole the next, but it’s getting better with the years.

Matt Damon: I heard you like me a lot as an actor and you do some “home acting” yourself?

Filip: Maaaatt Daaaammoon! I love you, and yes, I love to do stupid shit. I imitate dialects and different types of people. Nowadays, all we do is kind of stare into our phones, and it’s probably that and all these filters on Snapchat etc. that got me started talking to myself and doing a lot of weird characters.

Louie the cat: Ever since you got me, you’ve been all weird, dude. Sometimes, I wish you’d leave me alone, dawg. What’s the deal?

"I get this super energy burst in a matter of seconds that I need to evolve into some kind of sketch/act/review of a pasta package."

Filip: I drove two hours to get you, bro, and I always wanted a pet. I never had one because my sister was allergic to fur.

Sister: Don’t blame it on me. Did you forget about the rabbit?

Louie the cat: A little bunny? You never told me that you had a little bunny before me…

Filip: Yeah, we had a rabbit in the garden, but I once forgot to lock the cage and it escaped and was found later without a head, so I thought I wasn’t meant to have a pet, but you showed me it’s different. We’re best homies.

Louie the cat: Or second best after the bunny, you mean… At least, I didn’t lose my head.

Twitch streamer Gavin Grapefruit: I heard that you tried to start a stream, but it didn’t happen. What went wrong?

Filip: Yeah, I play a lot of video games on the PS4 and was down to start a stream to sit and waste my supernova burst on that, but my internet was too bad. I ordered new internet some days ago and shit is about to pop off. Don’t forget to subscribe, mattdamondeluxe on Twitch. [laughs]

Matt Damon: Maaaaatt Daaaaaamon!

Rodney Mullet: I see you like skating ledges. Do you prefer Skynet tech tricks on a ledge or smooth, long Marvin Gaye-type slides/grinds?

Filip: I like tech tricks, but sometimes it’s too much of flipping in and backflipping out. I prefer a long grind/slide without the multi-flipping part. It feels like it’s more pleasing to do and to watch.

Sister: Filip, sometimes you post weird stuff on your Instagram. What’s going on in your head?

Filip: I know you don’t like it, but it has to be done. I get this super energy burst in a matter of seconds that I need to evolve into some kind of sketch/act/review of a pasta package. Sometimes in different languages that I make up or a Martin Scorsese-type dialogue about how Tony Two Times Thompson likes his new Venture trucks so much that he could eat a whole plate of cannoli.

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Backside Tailslide

Louie the cat: Yeah, I see this shit and sometimes you use me as an acting prop. Wtf?

Filip: Yeah, I do. It adds some funny flavor to it and I’m a crazy cat guy nowadays. It all comes from an instant vibe from hearing Dean Martin tracks that make me wanna do it.

Dr. Phil: We might have to talk about this cat guy and Dean Martin thing more in detail.

Filip: If I watch The Nine Club, I wanna do a cooking show, just like Chris Roberts: “Well, today we have a special, speecial, speeecial steak and it’s about to be marinated.”

The gaming chair: Ah c’mon. You know that you always end up here after your bursts.

Filip: Yes, because I waste so much energy, I get so low, almost dizzy and shaking. I need to learn how to control it better and the best ways are to make some comedy sketch act out of it. Because before I got these bursts, I didn’t do anything, I felt depressed.

Twitch streamer Gavin Grapefruit: Just start the show already and you can burst and chill in the same place.

Filip: I told you, I’m working on it. I bought a camera and the new Wi-Fi because I love playing games – and when I’m not skating, why not sit in front of a camera, act like an idiot, and play games? You can even earn some money from it. Otherwise, I’m just wasting money on drinking.

"I’m a very happy and at the same time sad person. I go from 100 to zero real quick."

Källan bar: Drinking? Yes, you love being here and drinking. You want a beer, by the way?

Filip: Not now, thanks. I have to do an interview, and yes, I like beer, but I don’t love drinking. I can’t really get super drunk, because I can’t take a hangover anymore. I get panic attacks the day after. My mind just trips because my body feels so shitty. It feels like I’m dying and my brain is fooling me that I have no feelings in my left arm and that my heart is really jumping.

Sister: Yes, we found you once in the garden at our parents’ house – still with your head at least. What had happened?

Filip: I was feeling depressed, I didn’t skate much, I was living at home, and I drank more or less everyday and a lot – until one morning. I woke up feeling great. I felt like I’d beat hangoverism. I didn’t feel shit until I was shaving in the bathroom. I just dipped and felt like I was about to fall asleep. After a while, I started to pinch my arm and I wasn’t feeling it. It was numbing away. Then I started to panic, my heart was pounding, and it was hard to breathe and walk. I grabbed the phone, dialed 911, and told them I was having a heart attack and was dying. The medics came, took me to the hospital, and hooked me up – I was fine. It was just my mind playing tricks on me. The next day, I got a note for a shrink, but I never called because I’m not insane.

Dr. Phil: One cent for every time I hear this and Oprah would look like she’s on welfare next to me.

Filip: Okay, I thought about calling and somehow I regret that I never did, because it took me four years to fully recover after that.

Matt Damon: So playing someone else like me helps you to feel better?

Filip: Being someone else and feeling fine is not right. You always have to be able to be yourself and feel like a muuuuuufukking G, but it kind of helps me to just get it out. I talk a lot to myself and film myself doing stupid shit. It’s like therapy for me to look at myself through a different perspective – and fucking around, I just love it.

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Frontside 180 Fakie Nosegrind

Malmö: Do you sometimes get inspiration from me for doing your sketches?

Filip: Most definitely! You are home to a wide arsenal of people. You are a special place, an industrial wasteland that is slowly turning into a wannabe-Berlin hipster place – I love it. You have the older generation that sits at home, smoking 100s Blend cigarettes under the fan, complaining about how the world and Malmö turned into a crime scene and blaming it all on the immigrants – cause, “It’s their fault!” Then you have the Möllan hipsters that study. Damn, they wear glasses without glass and they try to be so different. Basically, everything that is easy, they make it hard just to stand out. “Ooh, heey, I’m Erik, but you can call me Billy. I only drink IPA that tastes like the dirt in a subway station full of junkies and eat bread that is baked with the bark of 1000-year-old local trees” – and then the skate scene here is truly epic! The gymnasium, the skatepark Bryggeriet, DIY spots, etc.

Classic carpenter guy: Ah man, I can’t stand those hipsters either. They’re stealing our beanies, our flannels, and our beards but instantly get a blister if they only look at a shovel. You are different. I remember when you were driving goods to us, you were like one of us.

Filip: I remember that time as well when I worked as a delivery guy for a carpenter store. I was delivering stuff to all these work places. I really got into the blue-collar character when I delivered. [laughs] The classic conversations of these typically 35- to 45-year-old men working at the construction site would be like, “Yo Sven, how are you? The weather is shit today, again, and it’s Monday. That fucking sucks right?” “Yes man, and we have like ten people sick today. Damn kids, they don’t know how to work like me. I started hammering nails when I was six years old and had my first vodka when I was ten, but then there was this woman, who now is my wife, and she got pregnant with these kids that hate me. What can I do? Life is hard.” “Sure, you’re right Sven. Have a good day. See you tomorrow.”

"I grabbed the phone, dialed 911, and told them I was having a heart attack and was dying."

Matt Damon: I love those ordinary people. They’re so pure and honest.

Jesus Christ: Have I told you that I died for them?

Classic carpenter guy: I have some wooden beams and nails with me if you want to reenact the crucifixion, Mr. Maaaatt Daaaamon.

Louie the cat: Ah, forget these old stories. Lately, there was some German photographer in our apartment taking pictures of me and you. Who was that?

Filip: Yes, Fiddy Cent! He came to take some photos with me here in Malmö.

Malmö: Oh great, some exposure in the media. Did you get some good photos?

Filip: Well, we tried, but my body was so sour from a Paris trip that I couldn’t really skate. We biked around a lot and claimed tricks that never happened. I really tried but got super angry because it hurt too much and I was yelling and focused my board. I hope ze German star photographer doesn’t hate me after he was here. Oh wait, I have an incoming call. “Who dis?”

Solo Skate Mag: Hello, this is Solo Skate Mag. I’m calling because of the interview.

Filip: Ah, I’m sorry, that doesn’t go too well with my schedule. I started this streaming channel and have to go online now, but you can speak to my personal assistant.

Louie the cat: I have something on tape you might be interested in, but it won’t be cheap.

Solo Skate Mag: We have this squeaky toy…

Louie the cat: Filip’s deepest secrets are yours.

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Crooked Grind Pop Over