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Palais du Beast 2019

As a skateboarder, Stuttgart is always worth a trip. Those who like carspotting, large construction sites and exaggerated police presence will also be served well. The Cannstatter suburb, which started under the name Stutengarten in the swamp area has charm. Or as the old Battlerapper Ringelnatz says: "Stuttgart is beautiful, against this fucking Munich a Paris". It's like comparing the streetcredibility of Blumentopf and Fanta 4, but very unironic, it's a charming place, which had been dressed up for the weekend.

Those who don't hang out so often in residences, palazzos or even Palais should know that in this case the Stuttgart City Museum is housed there. At the weekend, it also housed skateboarders who were pushing directly from the lobby to throw themselves into the bank with which the entrance steps had been covered. The obstacles changed over the day. First there were two Hubbas, then a Rail, then a Londongap and at the end the Rail was put over the Gap again. #allrounder Next year please have a vertwall at the end.

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Sandro Trovato – Backtail

One of the best skaters Germany has ever seen (you surely recognized Andi Welther) sets up one of the most beautiful boards Germany has ever seen. And the board is not only more beautiful than the Mona Lisa and a handcrafted masterpiece - it also skates excellently. Nürtingen delivers. #unpaidadvertising #getyourown

I saw Lem Villemin for the first time at the Etnies Cup in Munich in 1874 live. He had just hatched out of the egg and made 360 flips more beautiful than the rest. Basically he made everything more beautiful than the rest. Meanwhile he is a few years older, but he can still skate beautifully. That's why he made it to the podium. Only Rogge was ahead of him. At the exit of this front K he crashed into the filmer by the way. Photographing that wouldn't have been so nice, but it would have been funny. When asked openly about their dream life partner, people usually answer that humour is more important to them than beauty. That would mean that the photo here is not as good as the other could have been. But the filmer has it on video. Surely it will come on insta.

The telephoto lens on contests is something like the Benz star appearing in the rear-view mirror: it has built-in priority. My camera, on the other hand, looks like a child's toy. That's why I have an ever-growing collection of photos of photographers' backsides. It was more relaxed in Stuttgart. Daniel Wagner, for example, is far too nice to push himself forward. But his setup remains impressive. You know he could slap you away at any time if he just wanted to. Bum-Tschak - and the sniper has struck again.

What looks like hands-only push-ups is in fact a rather mangy drop with unrestrained drop height from the Hubba to the ground. Willow, no, not him, but Willow Voges-Fernandes, has won the Worst Slam Award and I am a bit proud that I could document this historic moment so accurately.

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Jan Hoffmann

1.) Konstantin Wecker was there, in pants that were way too tight and drinking beer in a bad mood. Maybe he noticed what the people of Stuttgart thought of Munich.

2.) Oh my... is it Konstantin Wecker who's shamelessly drinking over there? He's like the hole we call our central train station.

3.) I don't know but I liked the comparison you did there so I giggle a little bit. Hihihi.

4.) I bought the screwdriver set for one euro, the strawberry scented candles, a pack of potholder, weedkiller, a new toilet brush, a watercolour paint box, seven grey T-shirts and a maxi pack of mini-daim. And yet I still feel this endless emptiness within me. There's this hole in my chest as big as the one at the main station. I feel so insignificant, as if even my thoughts were just a bland copy of the thoughts of others.

5.) So last weekend the three liters of white wine spritzer, eight Aperol Spritz and four strawberry limes didn't add that much to me. Must be the sultry heat in the kettle. But well, you can't do anything anymore. I just pretend I'm chillaxing and hope nobody has an Edding with them or takes stupid photos of me. Shit, now I farted. Anyway, I do it like Merkel. Just keep going.

6.) I'm pissing in there. I swear. As soon as I'm in, I'll rip my diaper off and just let it run. That's what I call a party!

I don't care if you're saying allright. Or you, or you. Here you only skate when I say allright. Allright? Well allright, then we have understood each other. Phil Anderson qualified for the Guinnes Book of Records with a nine-hour permanent moderation, better than Thomas Gottschalk could ever have done.

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Mark Metzner – Frontside Smith

If you're chill as fuck because you're superfly with your brand new vans in your sports convertible with speed shades daddy power shooting through the crowd like Moses through the sea.

1.) You the Stjepan has just jumped into Front Blunt, is really horny here ... What do you mean, only Swiss say that? How do you know that I am not Swiss? After all, I have a red and white cap on. ... What? No, that's not your cap. Uh, the reception here is super bad. I have to hang up.

2.) Tit for Tat. If you think you can just take a picture of me with your little kids camera, then I'll shoot back.

3.) Bro, is everything still Gucci or are you completely trapped? Dilettantism as an artistic stylistic device for Yung Hurn, but you can't show up at a contest with a 23mm and then fiddle with it as if it were a zoom lens. Sheeesh, how unprofessional are you?

4.) This malicious appearance, which one has when one makes Switch Varial Heel the Dom Thirteen, although the Impact almost crushed one's foot.

While Fitschi is still lecturing on angles of incidence and loss, Schützi is already laying on the pipe. By the way, he ran from Passau to Stuttgart at six o'clock in the morning in just one hour, barefoot pulling the trailer with all its material behind him. Then he built the obstacles on his own and armed with a cordless screwdriver and because he was finished too early he made a short trip to the train station and gave Stuttgart 21 four years of construction progress. Then he folded up the whole park with a few quick moves and before his "Servus" had faded away, he was already on the next construction site somewhere in Russia. And you wanna know what's amusing? It's not that unrealistic.

I'm a little proud of how perfect the beer wagon is in focus. Paddy is sharp enough with his upper body and Maxi knows I already fucked up at the moment of the photo - and he's cool with it.

Since Mark Metzner used his shirt as a sweat cloth, he had to ride each run in a different outfit. Rogge on the other hand gave his outerwear a merciless condensation water batik. But whoever takes first place and also wins Best Trick can go shopping easy. The best thing to do is to stop by the Breuninger for the good shiny-shiny-bling-bling Shizzle. You can also treat yourself to one of Sandro's smoothies.

Did I mention that I wasn't really that good with lenses? But anyway, Manu Schmieder of Vans not only sponsored the whole number, he also helped me out with the Fishey Overview Shot. But Manu, Oida, what is it about theses thumb creases?

Yeah well, the moment of this heel flip could be a little bit better, but Reece Knobloch fired tricks at the speed of a

Scatman John that I'm glad I caught him in the first place. In the end, the 15 year old youngest starter finished third.

Who's got the better pro model? Ave or Me?

Patrick Rogalski was once again a real winner and also cleared the Best Trick with Crooked 180 Flip Out.

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